Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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