I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
