yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
