I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
