yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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