It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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