where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i came on her dog
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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