I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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