she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
