I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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