At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
