check it out our google latitudes are spooning
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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