I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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