It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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