you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
