She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
