very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize