DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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