I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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