...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
