I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
