It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
