At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
