She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
