nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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