It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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