allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize