I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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