Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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