The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
