Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
