The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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