What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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