I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
