I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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