I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I want to be your penis for a week.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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