I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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