you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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