A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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