Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
