Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(801): View more from Utah

My underwear smells like fireworks.

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(404): View more from Georgia

She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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(+61): View more from Australia

You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.

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(407): View more from Florida

I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face

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(941): View more from Florida

Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music

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