At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people