Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again

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  (740): There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again http://tfl.nu/gd8v
  Replies (15) Good night (4765) Bad night (1251)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.

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  (618): i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today. http://tfl.nu/48rk
  Replies (6) Good night (5032) Bad night (1118)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."

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  (615): I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do." http://tfl.nu/0gsj
  Replies (8) Good night (3781) Bad night (1130)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2105) Bad night (846)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  (406): 130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/aorw
  Replies (3) Good night (2286) Bad night (746)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2568) Bad night (808)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon

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  (757): There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon http://tfl.nu/7pni
  Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (608)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!

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  (201): I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine. (1-201): Why is there even a knowledge base for that?! http://tfl.nu/9uxx
  Replies (7) Good night (1205) Bad night (596)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

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  (418): You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner http://tfl.nu/wvf5
  Replies (6) Good night (990) Bad night (479)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.

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  (202): Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox. http://tfl.nu/f55t
  Replies (3) Good night (1136) Bad night (812)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

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  (785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  She's been drunk for three days now

  (914): View more from New York

  Like three straight days. 72 hours

  (914): View more from New York

  She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey

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  (914): She's been drunk for three days now (914): Like three straight days. 72 hours (914): She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey http://tfl.nu/7xto
  Replies (5) Good night (1065) Bad night (335)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!

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  (916): When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!! http://tfl.nu/tjy9
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (387)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.

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  (216): First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong. http://tfl.nu/0nti
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (259)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....

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  (586): ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup.... http://tfl.nu/iec2
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (219)

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