Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses? http://tfl.nu/v432
  Replies (11) Good night (989) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): and on the seventh day, God created megan fox http://tfl.nu/yceo
  Replies (66) Good night (4099) Bad night (1413)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night. http://tfl.nu/skws
  Replies (14) Good night (4750) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (10582) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/qdi2
  Replies (46) Good night (4893) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay http://tfl.nu/hwso
  Replies (13) Good night (3192) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife. http://tfl.nu/i9np
  Replies (13) Good night (3844) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back. http://tfl.nu/rbde
  Replies (9) Good night (1112) Bad night (4091)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1527) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone. http://tfl.nu/zx3z
  Replies (7) Good night (1564) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up http://tfl.nu/zu39
  Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army. http://tfl.nu/tv7a
  Replies (11) Good night (891) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring http://tfl.nu/8ezz
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i need some food

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): i need some food (412): Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him. http://tfl.nu/mb52
  Replies (9) Good night (522) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass. (269): That should be the title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/pdg7
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (239)

Randomize