I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it