Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school... http://tfl.nu/5amt
  Replies (23) Good night (4904) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed". http://tfl.nu/ptkf
  Replies (54) Good night (8113) Bad night (3406)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse. http://tfl.nu/qxpq
  Replies (6) Good night (2504) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out. http://tfl.nu/7oni
  Replies (15) Good night (2500) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch. http://tfl.nu/ad1t
  Replies (6) Good night (2259) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots http://tfl.nu/ri9x
  Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining. http://tfl.nu/kdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (1367) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens http://tfl.nu/9djh
  Replies (1) Good night (1460) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots http://tfl.nu/1mi3
  Replies (6) Good night (1546) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting (978): In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you http://tfl.nu/ucjj
  Replies (5) Good night (748) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What drugs are we doing when you visit?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): What drugs are we doing when you visit? (1-402): The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles. http://tfl.nu/97ps
  Replies (2) Good night (1036) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle. http://tfl.nu/xmjt
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch http://tfl.nu/29tb
  Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (229)

Randomize