Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
