SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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