Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2356) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go? http://tfl.nu/synh
  Replies (12) Good night (745) Bad night (2397)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so... http://tfl.nu/5ecd
  Replies (8) Good night (580) Bad night (1920)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment. http://tfl.nu/63yr
  Replies (11) Good night (3820) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob http://tfl.nu/qlwy
  Replies (47) Good night (4941) Bad night (1949)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket. http://tfl.nu/tn78
  Replies (48) Good night (4825) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/8o9v
  Replies (11) Good night (3450) Bad night (1929)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents. http://tfl.nu/vupc
  Replies (17) Good night (2756) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now. http://tfl.nu/w7s6
  Replies (4) Good night (1118) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now http://tfl.nu/jdhz
  Replies (8) Good night (1010) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver. http://tfl.nu/9cmy
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget http://tfl.nu/3geu
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me. http://tfl.nu/5z6y
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment. http://tfl.nu/auln
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off." http://tfl.nu/27tg
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (383)

Randomize