I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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