Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Randomize
Follow @tfln