Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...