don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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