He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
