but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
