Little spoons don't ask big questions
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
