I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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