I want to stick my p in your. b.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We had to coat check the pizza.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
