Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
