How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
