Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
