Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
