So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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