aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
