Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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