one two three fourrrrnication!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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