He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
