Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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