There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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