oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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