Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
